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atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

The Hate List

September 14th, 2009 (02:58 am)

NOTE: Once again Livejournal is ruining my night.  I have been working for twenty minutes now on posting this blog and having it come out in the proper chronological order and everything and it keeps screwing everything up.  This is the last time I'm posting it, so if it's wrong....well, blame LJ.  I do.  For everything.




I've been recently finding myself reminded of how much I hate a great deal of public figures and pop culture icons.  Just recently I was mentioning to some friends about who I'd take a swing at if I were to meet them in person, even though I would face potential jailtime and, in some cases, death by bodyguard.  Which I think probably has it's own police code by now.


But because I find it entertaining to be filled with hate and, on occasion, violent and uncontrollable bloodlust, I figured I'd share with you.  Below is a list of people who generally earn my ire more than others, but by no means is an extensive one.  I generally find them to be the worst that I can possibly put words to that won't last for fifty pages of me shrieking obsceneities and vauge references to death.  You'll find who they are(and if I can make it work pictures of what they look like...but computers hate me, so I doubt I'll be able to figure it out), what you know them for, what their crimes are and what manor of aggressive punishment should be doled out upon them.  More than likely over-the-top professional wrestling moves and/or MMA holds.  Because those are always fun.
 


And away we go.




 

HATE! )

atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

Do I like Jennifer Tilly?

August 18th, 2009 (02:56 am)


It's too goddam hot.


I'm tempted to just post THAT as my entire blog, because chances are the rest of it is just going to be me saying that as many ways as possible.
 


 

Heat, and Jennifer Tilly. )</div></div>

atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

The Count of Monte Fisto.

August 17th, 2009 (02:28 am)

So Spike TV, otherwise known as The Bullshit ManBoy Testerone Network, did it's bi-weekly marathon of all the "Rocky" movies today.....this event is known as THE AWESOMEST THING EVER TO HAPPEN TO YOU. I think it's a religious holiday or something.


Read Onward, My Fellow Americans... )

atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

The Cable Diaries

August 12th, 2009 (03:08 am)


Since my return to cable-ready living, I've been frequently bombarded by a rather staggering number of the ups and downs that come with it.  On the positive end, I've discovered that Comedy Central shows old episodes of "Scrubs" every weekday at 7pm-8pm.  This is fantastic news for me, since I happen to really love that show despite having seen a very small amount of it.  But now I can watch it daily, and kiss my social life goodbye.  Also, I can watch "The Simpsons", "South Park" and "The Daily Show" more often than I really should.  I've also managed to, despite my better judgement, watch professional wrestling for the first time in, like, three years.  This is sort of a middle of the road thing between positive and negetive.


So sue me...I have a soft spot for wrestling since I loved it as a young boy.  It's remarkably a lot like comic books, okay?  Big colorful characters doing battle for good and evil.
 


I don't have to justify myself to YOU, okay?
 


 


Ahem.
 


 

 

Read more... )


Seriously.  Look at that hair. Awesome.

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atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

Pamphlets for Jeebus.

August 12th, 2009 (03:01 am)

NOTE 2: The LJ splice thing STILL won't work right.  I highlight the whole thing, and it cuts one paragraph.  It's been doing this for a while, which is why I don't use it.  So, sorry.

DISCLAIMER: The below, at least some of it, would probably be considered heretical by some.  I know that some of you out there have strong religious beliefs and I respect that(I actually consider myself agnostic, which means I'm too lazy to have much faith in anything....but I also do have some general religious beliefs in some ways.  I just, uh, happen to be not sure.)....I'm just ripping on some stuff, which I'm sure is cool with God.


Because my God considers me unbelievably fucking funny.
 


 

Read more... )

atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

Revenge of the Nerd

August 12th, 2009 (02:59 am)


NOTE: I've been writing blogs on Myspace and Facebook for the past few days, and despite my hatred for LiveJournal I'll post them here in case you were interested and didn't read them there.  But please comment if you do so, because I really don't want to use it if I don't have to....sorry if this takes up a bunch of space.


So it's been a hundred million years or so since I've written a blog.

Read more... )

I'm sure you've missed that, all three of you who have actually cared about the fact that I haven't been writing blogs.  But, do to the very stern commands of certain key individuals, I have returned to the Myspace beast to write more idiotic and pointless blurbs about life, the universe and everything.
 

My laptop is still kind of fucked up at the moment- I'm completley unable to type a paranthesis due to something being wrong with my keyboard and it occasionally makes a strange beeping sound when two keys get pressed at the same time...and seeing as how I type very fast, this happens a lot- but I'm making due until I pick up one that my good friend put together for me.  Which will be the second laptop he's scraped together and bumped my way.  Sometimes I'm blown away by my friends.
 

Speaking of friends- thanks to CPock's help Jan and I raised enough money to get ourselves moved into the new apartment, which is now filled with out stuff and fully functional.  We'd still like to get a couch eventually so we can have people over- we will have people over, just not as many at the same time....see, this last sentence would have been typed in paranthesis if the damned button worked- but that's not exactly priority.
 

The move went rather smoothly thanks to the tireless efforts of some friends, particularly Matt who basically injured himself to help me get all the extremely heavy shit in my solo apartment down three flights of stairs, into a uhaul and then up three flights of stairs into the new apartment.  Jan and I quickly got things more or less completley set up, and now the place is looking great and ready for living.
 

It's a two bedroom, with a big living room, a decent kitchen and a nice little psuedo dining room that has been converted into my movie library, which looks unbelievably hot.  It's just amazing to walk into a room and be surrounded by movies.  It's like a little video store in there.  It's just....awesome.  And MINE. 
 

We have cable, which is interesting since it's been a very long time since I've had access to cable television.  I don't use it very much, though I'm fairly sure Jan does, but I have been able to catch some episodes of The Simpsons, Family Guy and South Park on TV.  Today I watched the first "Scary Movie" on Comedy Central, and then watched the roast of Joan Rivers.  I was very much enjoying the roast and then had to come to my shithole job and try to pretend I give a shit about anything at all while I'm here.
 

I've been reading a lot, which has generally been what I've been doing in lieu of blogs or actual fiction writing...which I need to get back to... and has been consuming a lot of time.  Days off are still usually spent boozing, a habit I intend to start slowing down on a little in the near future.  Jan and I are discussing a possible "going out" schedule which will save us money and generally make those of you we see all the time easier to deal with, since we'll see you less.  I kid, I kid.
 

The relationship with Jan is going well.  We're still adjusting to one another in a lot of ways, and that's just swell. 
 

Well, that's it for now, I think....just a general update.  I intend to try and keep up with things a little bit more in the future since I do occasionally miss blogging about random shit.  I'm sure there's plenty of stuff I hate that's going undocumented, and that sort of thing will not stand.  But for now we'll settle for a quick little update about what's going on in my immediate world.  As for the immediate future....well, it's mostly paying off debts and getting our finances together.  That's going to take time, but we'll survive.
 

Until tomorrow, I suppose.
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atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

Oh Dad, Dear Dad...Mom's hung you in the closet and I'm feeling so sad.

June 24th, 2009 (06:37 pm)


So my Grandmother has been calling and leaving me messages begging me to call my Father for the past few days, because apparently he's going into the hosptial for yet another thing wrong with him.  But, it always blows over, so I feel no concern.  In fact, I feel very little else for my Father these days but rage and dissapointment.


It wasn't always like this.
 

 

witness my open heart, fuckers. )

 

Except that it really didn't.  He wasn't around much once he moved out, and my Parents firmly seperated and eventually divorced.  We saw him every other weekend, which was fine, and even then we did very little because he was poor and sickly.  Still is poor and sickly, for that matter.  He also took me in when I was an angry seventeen year old rebelling at my Mother and for the first time in my life we finally bonded as people and not as Father and son, and I was vaugely happy with the relationship.  We got on well, watched TV and movies together and he taught me the joys of writing recreationally(and, when I was younger, got me hooked on reading).  The honest response is that a lot of who I am can be contributed to my Father.  Not a lot, since I figured most things about life on my own through a painful process of elimination and a series of personal(and humiliating) failures.

 

And then my Brother lost his fucking mind.

 

For those of you who don't know this about me, I have a psychotic younger brother.  He was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic when he was about seventeen(I was nineteen) and my Mother has never been able to deal with it very well.  Now that he's older things have chilled out due to him going from a young, fit young man with psychotic tendencies to a heavyset lump of vaugely stupid waste....but that isn't the point.  The point is that at first Dad was involved with my Brother(though not much, despite the fact that his more even-minded personality was better suited for most of the interactions), and did try to help out a bit.

 

And then one day he was gone.  Dad had moved to the other side of the country to get re-married and raise a new son who allegedly had a genius level intellect.  I met the kid, and he loved Pokemon and a pair of stinky rats.  Didn't seem all that bright to me.  But Dad took off and started a new family, leaving his mentally shattered son, and an ex-wife who was close to an emotional breakdown.  And then he more or less vanished.  A few phone calls, no letters, no emails, basically he vanished into thin air.  After how close he and I had finally become after all the years of vaugely shaky Fathering(despite our similarities, he had no idea on how to raise children or deal with their emotional needs whatsoever), I was rather upset and felt abandoned.  In my mind, he just sort of left me.  I dealt with it, I was a grown-up(as much as one really can be at Twenty with few real-life experiences) and I moved on.  I was already more or less on my own at that point, but I was making a point to spend one evening a week at my Mother's house to visit my brother, which was really not easy.

 

At one point, after a series of increasingly upsetting episodes, My Mother finally had enough and asked my Father to finally help out in a meaningful way(even though we really hadn't heard from him much in over a year) and my Father volunteered to take my Brother in way off in California for a while.  I was impressed.  Finally, he was taking some responsibility and I wouldn't have to anymore.  My Brother got on a bus and rode off into the sunset to live with Dear Ole' Dad.


He was back two weeks later.
 


Turns out Dad's new Wife couldn't deal with Little Brother's nutjobbery and made several desperate calls to me to try and convince me that the best thing to do would be to send him back home to Mommy.  Desperate calls to ME.  Not Mom.  ME.  Like I was his Father.  And all this time, my Dad didn't speak to me, probably because he knew I'd call bullshit on him.  My Mother was angry and upset(apparently at least one conversation had occured with her, and she HAD called bullshit on Dad), and I was caught in the middle and was forced to make adult decisions for a bunch of distraught adults over THEIR crazypants son.  He was my Brother, but he was their child.  But eventually he came back home.
 


Two months later he violently attacked me and nearly killed me.  I defended myself and ended up being arrested as a result due to domestic dispute technicalities.  Even though I beat the charges, I was rather upset.  After all I had done for him, I was the one who was attacked.  And, more specifically, where the fuck was Dad?
 


Where was he when my Brother was sick?  Where was he when we needed a Father to help us through things?  Where was he when I was attacked?  Why did my Younger Brother feel that I was the male authority figure he could attack?  And why did my Mother feel that I was the person to call in the middle of the night worried about my brother?  Why did I end up having the parental talks about the psycho who tried to kill me? 
 


Truth is, I'm the one who had to raise my Brother, and I have to take responsibility for how he's turned out.  And while I wash my hands of it, because I came to my senses, I find myself thinking about my "son" a lot.  And in the meantime, I haven't heard from my Father in years.  The last time I called him, probably about eight months ago, we had a decent conversation that was very nice...and he never called me back.  So it can't be that he's worried I'm angry, because I didn't give him a reason to think I was.
 


But my Father abandoned us.  If we're so important that I MUST call him for my Grandmother and make sure everything is alright(apparently he wants to know I'm okay before he goes into surgery, because he's melodramatic), then why hasn't he called me about it?  If it's so important to him that our relationship be good before he goes into the hospital, why didn't he make the effort?  Why hasn't he made the effort over the past five years?
 


The truth is I don't want to call him.  I think he's made it clear that we're only of interest to him when he's feeling self-reflective.  And since I did his job for him, what do I need him for?  I've been getting along just fine without a Father.  And I'm sick of my Grandmother implying I'm a bad son just because I don't make the effort to repair my shattered relationship with my absentee Father.  Who has a new Family to worry about.  We're his failed experiment Family, and I'm better than that.  So, no, I'm not going to call him.  I don't care if that's petty, or what, but I don't need it.  Any of it.  He knows where to find me.  But it's his job to do it, not mine.  I have enough relationships to deal without worrying about the feelings of a person I barely know who happens to be my genetic donor. 
 


He wants to talk, he can come find me.  I'm not hard to find.
 


But he won't. 
 


He never will.

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atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

I really dislike Livejournal.

June 23rd, 2009 (03:11 am)

Y'know, I've been trying to get this stupid thing to do LJ cuts right?  It isn't working.  Hasn't worked for two blogs.  Is there anybody on this thing that can't read my blogs on Facebook or Myspace?  I'm seriously considering just ditching facebook altogether.  It's never done me any favors whatsoever and I never have warmed up to it.  Ditch this bullshit.

atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

The Beast Within(I <3 Werewolves).

June 23rd, 2009 (03:06 am)

For some reason I found myself thinking of Werewolves when I finished my paperwork tonight, a phenomena that I really can't entirely fathom.  The paperwork took forever due to the new employees we have, not to mention a baffeling increase in reservation traffic at late hours these days, but eventually I finished it after battling with the damned thing for three hours or so.  And now it's very hot the hotel lobby, and I am thinking of Werewolves.


 

Werewolves! AND Capwolf! )

 

The real reason Werewolves should mean more to us as a society, at least in terms of the fictional creatures we use to talk about ourselves, is that actually really are social.  Or they should be.  They have squabbles, and social order and all the things we do as people without even realising it, except they tend to elevate them to a higher level- which is the purpose of all monsters.  The way I see it, a good Werewolf story should center on the idea of pack mentality, friendship, savagery and gender roles.  From domination/submission(between leader/follower and possibly between mates), to how they hunt and kill their prey(whether it be human or animal), to how they interact with each other...there's a lot of morality to be examined there.  Somebody really should do an "Interview with The Werewolf" type genre-bending Werewolf tale...and now I'm thinking of goddam doing it.  'Cause they're better than Vampires.  Did Captain America turn into a Vampire?  Nope.  Did Captain America turn into a Werewolf?  You're god damned right he did.

 

The question really becomes what you do with Werewolves...I mean, rules wise?  I'm fairly certain they'd be immortal.  Maybe.  I don't know...would they be immortal?  I guess they heal exceptionally fast, or they usually do.  Nothing short of silver or fire ever really takes them out for good, but I do stand by my "beheading kills everything" rule in general.  No brain, no life.  Period.  Perhaps I'd go with decelerated aging instead of Immortality.  I think that makes more sense.  They would get rapid healing except against silver, fire and having their stupid heads chopped off.  They'd be social, exsisting within packs that have joint mentality on how they behave; some would be vicious killers who hunt down and murder people, while others might have a more "pro-human" stance, living amongst people and feeding upon animals rather than people.  Unlike Vampires, Werewolves have a very real connection to life- they do hunt and kill, and have heightened senses about the world around them, and have their roots in both humanity and animals.  I don't want environmentally conscious hippies, but they'd have a general feeling for things around them.  They, like Vampires, would be largely selective of creating other Werewolves, and would even be more selective in mates for themselves.


There would be a lot of fun to be had with romantic roles, actually....I like the idea of a male Werewolf completley intoxicated with the sensory overload of a Woman.  Her smell, her taste, her touch....perhaps it'd be enough to make them into harmless little house pets or to drive them into a leathal psychotic frenzy rendering them capable of doing anything- including harm.  You could play with sub/dom stuff, but maybe not as pretentiously as gothy Vampire types....but it does exsist. 
 


I'd had ideas of taking the Werewolf entirely into metephor and doing a story about savage men, but I think I really do dig the idea of a full-on "I turn into a massive half-man, half-wolf creature...or can also turn into a full Wolf" idea.  Big, huge, scary, fuck-off hairy monsters who can tear you apart.  Sounds like way more fun to me.
 


A story about a Werewolf, perhaps born a long time ago or recently made, who goes through life dealing with being connected to life, being socially capable and accepted amongst his own kind, and yet finding himself seperated from the life he feels so connected to.  He probably falls in love, maybe upsetting his Pack or maybe earning the enimity of a less-friendly pack, and finds himself torn between the man and the animal.  Could be fun.  Cliche, maybe(unless you did it really well and very carefully), but fun.  'Cause it's all about the metephor.  Animal or something more?  Which are we, really?
 


Yeah....I just wasted half an hour of my life on this.  But, respect the Werewolf.  'Cause Captain America was one.
 


 


Long live Capwolf, bitches.
 


 
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atrophic_dwarf [userpic]

They Stole My Show Pts. 7, 8 and 9

June 21st, 2009 (04:05 am)


Part of my neglecting my blogs as of late has also meant a neglecting of my "Harper's Island" blog, for all three of you who care.  As per usual, the general idea was for me to bitch about the fact that CBS stole my idea for a Slasher-Movie style TV show, except that they ended up turning it into a rather good murder mystery and now I can't feel the hate that used to keep me warm at night.


 

Killer Theories after the jump. )

 

JD bit it, too...and creepy burnface guy, too.  Two more red herrings bumped off.

 

Actually, I've formed a rather fun theory on who the killer is, but I'm not sure if I'm smarter than the show or not.  I think I can say with all humility that I am.  But I'm not sure.  They've basically implicated Sheriff Dad, but I think that's way too easy.  I'll be dissapointed if it's that simple.  Sure, Abby might be evil Wakefield's Daughter and Sheriff Dad might have gone psycho over that, but it's also only episode nine.  No way they'd really implicate him that early if it was true.  Also, they've implicated him at the end of half the episodes, and he's basically the ultimate red herring.


I think it's "Too good to be true" Henry.  And an accomplice, that I think is his would-be sister-in-law Shay.  Or Trish herself.  And here's why. 
 


Henry grows up a poor kid living on Harper's Island where he romances Trish, the beautiful rich daddy's girl.  Trish's Dad hates Henry for his pauper lifestyle, and Henry ends up resenting him.  All his life, Henry has envied the Wellington's for their money and prestige, and never felt like he was good enough for Trish and resents the whole damned thing.  But things are working out with Trish, so hooray.  Now here's wherte my theory diverges into two sub theories.  Sub Theory A: Henry and Trish start to talk about their future.  They've been together for this side of forever, and see that continuing.  But Henry and Trish know that Daddy Wellington isn't keen on their relationship, and that they probably can forget about ever keeping their hands on that fortune he has.  He'd never really accept Henry as anything more than a brief distraction for Trish, accentuated by his constant attempts to break them up.  So Henry and Trish, being exceptionally smart people, come up with a plan to get their hands on that money- murder Daddy Wellington.  But they'd surely be caught- any first year Detective would put together their simple ruse to get rich quick if they just murdered him.  Plus, he has a Wife and another Daughter who also get their hands on that money, so they would need to be dealt with, too.  So how do we wipe out everyone ahead of us on the path?  Well, it just so happens that He's best friends with a Girl who saw her Mother murdered years before on psycho death island.  Hell, she already survived a horror movie.  So they plan a wedding on the Island, which honestly is also kind of in poor taste.  Even if they met there and all, it was still the site of a gruesome series of murders, including his best friend's Mom.  So why else would they do it there? So they could do a big massive misdirection for their murder plot.  You start killing your guests, and the whole time make it all seem like it's a psycho coming after Abby.  When the dust settles, they're still alive and get married and get their hands on the Wellington Empire, and they look like shellshocked survivors and not murderers.  Find a decent frame job(like Sheriff Daddy or Slightly Unhinged Young Brother JD) with all sorts of screwed up evidence that somebody just wanted to re-make the Wakefield massacre ending with Abby.  Basically create a horror movie to cover up your crime.
 


Now sub theory B, which I think I'm more into, is slightly similar but massively different.  In this sub theory Henry has an affair with Shay.  Once again, they can't really get their hands on the money AND be together- Richard Burgi hates him enough already, if he dumps his younger daughter for his older daughter, you might as well forget it.  Shay would also probably be excommunicated.  Shay also realises her Husband is sleeping with her step mom, and daughter Madison is going to need a good life in the end.  They hatch the same scheme as sub-theory A, except also needing to wipe out Trish.  Once again, they end up sole survivors and miraculously fall in love(nothing brings people together like a violent trauma, and wouldn't it be lovely for the story to have a happy ending?  A bunch of people died, but Henry, Shay and Madison become a happy rich family as a result.  Silver linings.), and once again everybody thinks it was a psycho playing a sick mindfuck game on Abby, unless you just frame her.  At the same time, Madison goes missing and actually sort of helps the killer.  The whole show she's been seen as having something of a crazy streak, and has mentioned "her friend" who has been telling her information.  Who could possibly take Madison without really frightening her?  Who could get Madison to call Abby and make the threat?  Her Mom, perhaps?  Shay just tells Madison to blame Sheriff Dad, because it's all a game. 
 


But every episode they seem to show me another reason why it needs to be Henry.  In episode nine he beats the shit out of island asshole Shane, with a fury we have yet to see.  He has all the background neccesary to pull it all off: He knows the island, Shay/Trish obviously have SOME money, and everybody loves him.  It'd be easy enough for him to manipulate events(we also have seen how smart this guy is.  I wouldn't be willing to throw the "I'm a psycho who is in love with Abby" motive at him, because Henry doesn't seem all that crazy, which I think makes it even scarier.  Really, he's just a smart, rational guy who is commiting a complicated crime to get his hands on the money, best friends be damned.  But he needs an accomplice, and the plan is worthless if he isn't married to a Wellington Woman....and if he's acting alone, it'd be pretty stupid to kill her Dad at the rehersal.  He needs to be married to Trish or Shay in order to get his hands on the money...but perhaps he could be working alone and plans to seduce Shay or later marry Trish and then kill them off later, but that seems way more unweildy.
 


The only real problem with this theory is that usually Henry, Trish and Shay tend to be accounted for most of the time, and don't often end up alone.  A third party(maybe their frame job, in the end...I wouldn't have been surprised if J.D. had been in on it, maybe they convinced him he'd look like a hero in the end and his outsider days could be put behind him, and manipulated him into commiting the murders...but J.D. was killed off, so it ain't him) could still be a possibility, someone they've convinced to kill everyone for them. 
 


Boyfriend Jimmy isn't beyond my suspicions either, either as a third party or an alternate killer.  It wouldn't shock me if he was in league with Wakefield or is even the son of Wakefield- they've made a big noise that Abby might be the kid, but perhaps it's Jimmy, pissed that he was denied a life he felt owed to him.  He did mention in the flashbacks that his parents didn't really give a fuck about him...maybe Wakefield was his Daddy.  Sure, it's unlikely that Abby would know Jimmy all her life and never meet his parents, but perhaps Jimmy didn't know yet.  Or maybe it's all a lie and Jimmy is just going to do the "I'm in love with Abby and want to kill everybody to prove it" thing, which is honestly in my mind the most likely due to the fact that it IS a basic cable TV show, and cliches are far more likely a scenario than an intelligent, well thought out concept.  But we'll see.
 


All the characters are getting interesting, and the show has kicked itself into a real horror movie feel.  I am really looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.  So congrats CBS, you beat me.  For now.  I like your stolen show.  Bastards.
 


Hmm.  Perhaps there is a little bit of that hate left to keep me warm...

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